Marv The Bartender

and his loyal customers | Fantasy

May 12, 2023

The bar business was booming in Mythburn. Every kind of no-good nasty was snapping up property and bottlenecking the beer trade. The stealing of shipments, customers, and occasionally lives was becoming all too commonplace, and Marv, much to his dismay, was stuck right in the middle of it all. His bar was his financial security, his home away from home, his legacy for his children, and he wasn’t going to let anyone take that away from him now, not when he’d worked so hard to get here.

Ten years ago, Marv had rolled into town, the first human to step foot in Mythburn for more than a century, and opened up shop. Monsters, demons, goblins, ghouls, and a whole host of other creatures had stalked, slithered, staggered, and swaggered in those first few weeks looking for trouble. They’d all assumed that since he was a human he could be taken advantage of, threatened, maimed, or otherwise swindled out of product. Little had they known that Marv, a fifty something man with deeply scarred hands, took absolutely no crap in his bar. If one wayward tentacle managed to find itself around the neck of an unopened bottle, that tentacle was quickly and mercilessly removed from its owner. The sawed-off shotgun that hung above the bar was always loaded with clean silver bullets. It had only been fired once.

Marv had quickly established the rules and enforced them without fail. That was how he’d won over the locals. His was the one bar in town where anyone could kick back and relax after a hard day of work without a care in the world. Even as new bars popped up across the valley, Marv kept his cool, his customers, and his cash, especially this evening. A new bar had opened right across the street earlier that morning, and in solidarity to Marv and his longstanding history, all of his loyal customers had come calling.

"Hey Marv!" Danny, a resident demon, called as he walked into the bar.

"Dan, how's business?" Marv replied, sliding him a shot of fresh Fire Whisky.

"Booming. Lots of people calling for demons and raucous these days."

Marv gave a knowing nod and went to wipe up a spill that was starting to smoke across the bar.

"Marv, my man, how's the missus?" Gary asked as Marv passed by.

"Lovely as always. Need more flesh chips?"

Gary patted his ever growing stomach and said, "I'm so full of the dead that I might as well be one."

Patrons around the bar broke into laughter.

The laughter was cut short when the front door flew open with a crash. A woman came stumbling inside, looking terribly distraught. Marv was at her side in an instant.

"Loraine, what is it? Are you okay?" Marv threw down his rag and embraced his trembling wife.

"They broke in. I couldn't stop them. Marv..." she dissolved into a fit of tears.

Between the slamming door and the crying woman, everyone’s attention had been gathered. The bar was silent as a graveyard as everyone waited in rapt attention for Loraine to gather herself. With one big sniff and a shuddering breath, Loraine said, "They took Charlotte and Luke."

Marv clenched his fists as fury ran through his veins. His competitors could steal his shipments, sway his customers, and slander his name all they wanted. But no one would get away with stealing his kids.

His patrons seemed to agree, because as soon as the words left her mouth, the bar erupted into chaos. Newcomers and loyal friends alike took to their feet. All of them were calling for justice to be served. Arm wrapped gently around her, Marv carefully guided Loraine through the imposing throng of semi-drunk creatures and seated her safely behind the bar. Then he grabbed his shotgun and turned to face the crowd.

"No one touches my kids and lives to tell the tale."

The roar that came from the crowd was nearly enough to knock Marv down. As one, the various creatures raised their metaphorical pitchforks and shouted, "No one messes with Marv!"

Then they swarmed from the bar, teeth bared, claws out, and demonic flames burning. Marv rushed out of the bar behind them, fear and rage working together to make him move faster than he had in years. He was halfway across the street when the first establishment went up in flames, courtesy of Danny, if the cackle that split the air was any indication.

Others from the bar followed Danny’s lead, and soon smoke filled the air. It stung Marv’s eyes and nose and lungs, and it quickly became apparent that he was not going to be keeping up with the search party. He stumbled back inside his bar and into Loraine’s embrace.

“Don’t worry. The kids will be fine,” he whispered into her hair.

It turned out that they didn’t even need him out there, for less than five minutes after the first building caught flame, his customers came crashing back into the bar with two pajama clad children in tow. He scooped them up and held his whole family close, sighing with relief.

What could have been tragic, quickly turned celebratory, and after securing his wife and children in a comfortable corner booth, Marv got the liquor flowing. Holding aloft a glass of his own he said, “To you, my friends and neighbors, for your terrifying yet mesmerizing display of loyalty to me and my family. Your kindness will not go unrewarded.”

Everyone drank to that, and then kept on drinking. Marv waved away attempts at payment, for tonight was a celebration, not just for the safety of his family, but for the security of his business. For each puff of smoke that wafted in under the door and each flash of flame he saw through the window meant the end of the liars and thieves that called themselves his competition. The bar business had boomed in the exact wrong way, and Marv, for once, was happy to be at the center of it all.

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Marv The Bartender

and his loyal customers | Fantasy

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